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Murphy's Bridge Laws
 
 
 
 
 
Partner always preempts in your singleton or void
If you have to guess a finesse, you guess wrong
If you have a choice between playing for the drop or
finessing you will make the wrong decision
If you run the queen from hand to the ace and let it ride the king
will be singleton on your right
If you go up with the ace, the king will be on your left
If you double for penalty partner thinks it is for take out
 If you double for take out partner thinks it is for penalty
You always count your cards and
there are always 13 cards-
except the time when you don't count and then you have 12 or 14
 When opponents revoke it makes no difference because you win all the tricks anyway, but when your side revokes you lose 2 tricks
The director is always next to you when your mobile phone rings, but when you need him he is never there
 

 

BRIDGE QUOTES

It's not enough to win the tricks that belong to you. Try also for some
that belong to the opponents.
Alfred Sheinwold
The real test of a b ridge player isn't in keeping out of trouble, but in
escaping once he's in.
Alfred Sheinwold
The trouble with women is that they treat bridge as a game. They do not
realize it is a war.
If you have the slightest touch of masochism you'll love this game.
We believe that contract is particularly attractive to people with a scrappy
disposition.
Frank Perkins
It's not the skill that drops off with age, it's the drive, the killer
instinct..and when a man isn't primed to kill he makes mistakes.
Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps you get there
faster.
One gets used to abuse. It's waiting for it that is so trying.
Rueful Rabbit
Since the average person's small supply of politeness must last him all his
life, he can't afford to waste it on bridge partners.
Alfred Sheinwold
Bridge is essentially a social game, but unfortunately it attracts a
substantial number of antisocial people.
Alan Truscott
One advantage of bad bidding is that you get practice at playing atrocious
contracts.
Alfred Sheinwold
Where's the hand you held during the auction?
A comment Jan Janitschke has made when dummy hits.
South: Alert!
East: Yes?
South: I'm requested to further misdescribe my hand.
It is not the handling of difficult hands that makes the winning player.
There aren't enough of them. It is the ability to avoid messing up the easy
ones.
S J Simon
Most bridge players prefer consistency in their partners rather than
brilliance.
Matthew Granovetter
The sum of all technical knowledge cannot make a master contract player.
Ely Culbertson
A knowledge of the mechanics will suffice to put a player in a commanding
position in the post-mortem. To become a member of the upper crust calls
for
more, much more. Resilience, imagination, occasional flashes of
inspiration,
these are the hallmarks of quality. And this transcends the realm of
science.
Victor Mollo
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Card sense is when it's technically right to do something, the little man
that sits on my shoulder or anyone else's shoulder says, "Don't do that."
And
you say to yourself, "Well, wait a minute, that's the right way to play."
And he says, "Yeah, but you don't wanna play that way." That instinct is card
sense. It's almost an ability to feel where the cards are. It's something
that you can't buy, you can't find; you're born with. The ability to do the
right thing at the wrong time or really to do the wrong thing at the right time.
Barry Crane
I'm not sure whether glory or masterpoints is first on the list, but I know
learning to play better is definitely last.
Eddie Kantar
I'd like a review of the bidding with all the original inflections.
The average defender operates in a fog of uncertainty.
H. W. Kelsey
Regardless of what sadistic impulses we may harbor, winning bridge means
helping partner avoid mistakes.
Frank Stewart
A player who can't defend accurately should try to be declarer.
Alfred Sheinwold
The real secret of the expert is to make logic seem like flair.
Hugh Kelsey
If you play bridge with your wife as partner, you need at least 20 points to
open, and it wouldn't hurt to have 25.
Joe James
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them
all yourself.
Alfred Sheinwold
I favor light opening bids. When you're my age, you're never sure they're
going to get back to you in time.
Oswald Jacoby at 77
Years ago there were only two acceptable excuses for not leading the suit
your partner had opened; having no cards in the suit, and sudden death.
Alfred Sheinwold
I think we're all a little masochistic. Otherwise, why would we continue to
play bridge?
We had a partnership misunderstanding. My partner assumed I knew what I was
doing.
My partner is 20 years behind the times. Nowadays you pay your money to
bid.
My partner still thinks you need cards.
Your play was much better tonight, and so were your excuses.
We play forcing hesitations.
A fellow had made a b ad bid and gone for 1400. "I'm sorry," he said to his
partner, "I had a card misplaced." Asked his partner innocently, "Only one
card?"
Charles Goren
If I did everything right, I wouldn't be playing with you!
When I take a 50-50 chance I expect it to come off 8 or 9 times out of 10.
Hideous Hog

 

 

 

  • Jerusalem Post Bridge Column for March 12, 2010
  • A Fascinating Game
  • by Matthew Granovetter
  •  
  • Brian Zietman, who with wife Maggy, runs the Jerusalem Bridge Center,  
  •  likes to say that bridge is a fascinating game.
  • He told me this week's hand, praising his opponents for their perfect defense
  • to his three-no trump contract.
  •  The hand took place at the Israel Bridge Festival.
  • Matilda Poplilov was West and Yehuda Sagiv East. Zietman was South.
  •  
  • North dealer
  • North-South vulnerable
  •  
  •        North
  •        S: A Q 6
  •        H: Q J 6
  •        D: Q 7 4
  •        C: J 9 8 5
  •  
  • West (Poplilov)    East (Sagiv)
  • S: 10 9 8          S: J 3 2
  • H: 10 8 5 3 2      H: A K 7
  • D: J 8 6 5         D: 10 9 6
  • C: K               C: 10 6 4 3
  •  
  •        South (Zietman)
  •        S: K J 7 4
  •        H: 9 4
  •        D: A K 3
  •        C: A Q 7 2
  •  
  • West    North   East    South
  • --      pass    pass    1NT
  • pass    3NT     all pass
  •  
  • Opening lead: 5 of hearts
  •  
  • Zietman and his wife had bid and made a slam on the first board of the round and on
  • the second board found himself in three notrump.
  • The lead was a third best 5 of hearts. Zietman revealed his thoughts as South:
  • "I contemplated letting it run to my 9 but if it lost to the 10 of hearts,
  • I could lose five heart tricks. So I played the jack from dummy
  •  and East won with the king.
  • "Instead of setting up my heart trick, he cleverly switched to a diamond.
  •  I won the ace of diamonds, led a small spade to the queen, and small club to the queen
  • hoping for a doubleton king of clubs on my right and 11 tricks.
  • Unfortunately, West won the king of clubs and found the phenomenal continuation
  • of the 10 hearts. I played the queen, which lost to the ace (and squashed my 9).
  • Now East continued with the 7 hearts to West's 8 and two down!"
  • Zietman was quite unlucky, because other players in the tournament opened
  •  the bidding one club with the North hand and rebid one notrump.
  • The North hand is not a good opening bid, but succeeded in this case.
  • After South raised to three notrump East led the king of hearts.
  • The declarers sitting North won the third round of hearts and cashed nine tricks:
  • four spades, one heart, three diamonds and one club.
  • But suddenly the king of clubs dropped singleton, so those declarers,
  • who were playing safe for nine tricks, found themselves making 11 tricks.
  • As Zietman likes to say, bridge is a fascinating game.
  • -----------------------------
  • Matthew Granovetter is the author of 13 bridge books and current world mixed pairs champion.

 

      

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